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Better Sex Through Mindfulness

The root chakra is at the base of our spine and can be impacted by physical, sexual shock and trauma, which is actually quite common. Apart from the energetic effects of a closed root center,  a closed-off pelvis can result in painful sex for women, premature ejaculation for men and/or erectile difficulty. 

On a metaphysical level, the root chakra is associated with our sense of safety and belonging. When we have beliefs around sex; that it is unsafe or wrong, or that it is transactional for protection, or for financial and emotional security, we can develop holding patterns in our bodies that manifests as sexual dysfunction. Statistically, some of the most common sexual challenges we experience, are lack of desire, lubrication difficulty, physical pain and discomfort.

Sexual pleasure, the one human gift that is independent of economic & social status, race, religion or age, can become an impossible goal. In some cases, it can even become a chore or cause of anxiety. Rather than enjoying sexual pleasure, we endure the moment, is dissociated from our bodies, praying that it will be over soon.

Luckily there is a way out of discomfort and into enjoyment through some simple exercises. 

By changing your beliefs about safety, boundaries, right and wrong, you can experience your body in a more free and loving way. By experiencing your body in a more open and accepting way, you can change your beliefs and expectation.

In a Sexual Sensations Awareness Exercise  from the book “Better sex through mindfulness” by Lori. A Brotto, PhD, Lori guides us through a series of mindfulness practices whilst in the state of arousal. To prepare for this practice, be sure that you won’t be disturbed. This is a solo practice, using sexual arousal as healing tool. It is important that you view it thus, as a sacred appointment with yourself.se a tool for sexual arousal, such as fantasy, a vibrator or erotic art. The purpose of this practice is to elicit  arousal, observe how it feels in an aroused state and to pair it up with a mindfulness exercise to know what it feels like when you pay attention.

2. Lie on your bed in a relaxed, open position. Observe your breathing and the sensations in your body, and perhaps the sensations of your heart, such as the speed and the intensity of it.

3. Now focus the sensations on your facial expression, muscles and sensations in your face and then move your attention down your body, past your chest, your breasts and belly. Down to your pelvic area. You may wish to tune in to sensations in your genitals.

4. Allow your focus of attention to rest gently on the entire region of the vulva and vagina. Notice the individual sensations in this area of the body, as each emerges, lingers and fades away.

Try to become aware of how your genitals feel moment to moment, without judgement.

5. As you pay attention to these sensations in various areas, pay attention to notice whether you are experiencing them as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. Do you like the sensations and want to keep your attention focussed on them, or do you dislike them and want to push those sensations away. Simply take note of what that urge feels like and continue to observe the sensations in your body without touching your body.

6. Once again expand your awareness to the whole body and feel the rush of excitement, tingling or warmth right through your body. When you are ready. Open your eyes.