22Feb

Help, I found naughty pictures on my BF’s laptop.

If you are reading this, you may have experienced that moment of utter betrayal and disappointment when you made the nasty discovery. In contrast to the dream in your head, of a loyal lover, endlessly focussed on you and you only, you know found evidence that your undivided love, is being shared. In fact you are being rejected, abandoned even for someone that doesn’t even exist in real life. This discovery can be devastating and have you doubt whether you are indeed with your mr. Right. Absolutely nothing society has taught you about real love, is depicted in this story.

I’d like for you to spend this time revising what response would really be appropriate to this, not so uncommon scenario.

Now, finding evidence that your partner is indeed fostering a secret sexual relationship with another invested person, is not what I am referring to in this post. Please do find some support if that is your story. If the pictures you are finding are random models posing with the bare minimum, clearly only for visual stimulation, then please read on.

Every person deserves just that little bit of privacy, that no-one else knows about, not even their lovers, mothers, spouses, or anyone else. Having a little bit of freedom from having to be perfect, is in fact, healthy. Not only is having a little privacy healthy, it is sexy and serves as a platform for self-growth and emotional maturity.

Society has long been trying to suppress the natural drive of men, by having them believe that their sexual urges are wrong. The popularity of vegetarianism in America, is documented to have a religious motivation in denying men meat, to lessen their sexual urges. Stigma around sex has created Billion Dollar Industries. Why, because when our natural needs and desires are taken from us, we are compelled to and willing to pay very high rates, for just a sense of it. Why are we, as a society so scared of men’s sexual drive and where they get their stimulation from? More importantly, why are you as an individual so threatened by your partners normal, healthy drive?

If you are currently facing the issue of not knowing how to react to finding naughty pictures belonging to your partner, I’d like for you to take a really, really deep breath and let it go. You are not in danger, your healthy relationship is not in danger, but may well be, should you choose to react. Rather ask yourself; what do you need to be more sexy, to be more fulfilled and what secret fantasies do you allow yourself? You may find that your beloved partner still holds you in the highest place in his mind and heart and always has, so take a chance and give each other a little bit of privacy. Find the magic in allowing a sprinkle of added imagination.