Better Sex Through Mindfulness

The root chakra is at the base of our spine and can be impacted by physical, sexual shock and trauma, which is actually quite common. Apart from the energetic effects of a closed root center,  a closed-off pelvis can result in painful sex for women, premature ejaculation for men and/or erectile difficulty. 

On a metaphysical level, the root chakra is associated with our sense of safety and belonging. When we have beliefs around sex; that it is unsafe or wrong, or that it is transactional for protection, or for financial and emotional security, we can develop holding patterns in our bodies that manifests as sexual dysfunction. Statistically, some of the most common sexual challenges we experience, are lack of desire, lubrication difficulty, physical pain and discomfort.

Sexual pleasure, the one human gift that is independent of economic & social status, race, religion or age, can become an impossible goal. In some cases, it can even become a chore or cause of anxiety. Rather than enjoying sexual pleasure, we endure the moment, is dissociated from our bodies, praying that it will be over soon.

Luckily there is a way out of discomfort and into enjoyment through some simple exercises. 

By changing your beliefs about safety, boundaries, right and wrong, you can experience your body in a more free and loving way. By experiencing your body in a more open and accepting way, you can change your beliefs and expectation.

In a Sexual Sensations Awareness Exercise  from the book “Better sex through mindfulness” by Lori. A Brotto, PhD, Lori guides us through a series of mindfulness practices whilst in the state of arousal. To prepare for this practice, be sure that you won’t be disturbed. This is a solo practice, using sexual arousal as healing tool. It is important that you view it thus, as a sacred appointment with a tool for sexual arousal, such as fantasy, a vibrator or erotic art. The purpose of this practice is to elicit  arousal, observe how it feels in an aroused state and to pair it up with a mindfulness exercise to know what it feels like when you pay attention.

2. Lie on your bed in a relaxed, open position. Observe your breathing and the sensations in your body, and perhaps the sensations of your heart, such as the speed and the intensity of it.

3. Now focus the sensations on your facial expression, muscles and sensations in your face and then move your attention down your body, past your chest, your breasts and belly. Down to your pelvic area. You may wish to tune in to sensations in your genitals.

4. Allow your focus of attention to rest gently on the entire region of the vulva and vagina. Notice the individual sensations in this area of the body, as each emerges, lingers and fades away.

Try to become aware of how your genitals feel moment to moment, without judgement.

5. As you pay attention to these sensations in various areas, pay attention to notice whether you are experiencing them as pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. Do you like the sensations and want to keep your attention focussed on them, or do you dislike them and want to push those sensations away. Simply take note of what that urge feels like and continue to observe the sensations in your body without touching your body.

6. Once again expand your awareness to the whole body and feel the rush of excitement, tingling or warmth right through your body. When you are ready. Open your eyes.

Writing and Publishing a book on Amazon.

So, I published a little book on Amazon.

Part memoir, part educational text,  Mindfulness Journey in Africa follows my journey while living in a Vipassana meditation center. I share some of my most memorable moments, experiences, and take-aways.

During my time there, or shall I say, as a result of my time there, I concluded that sometimes we follow the bright light of enlightenment to find an even brighter light when we acknowledge our place in the world.

Having a meditation practice does give a person so much insight into their interactions, relationships and engagement with life. Yet, we practice meditation to enhance our lives, and for a while there I was obsessed with having the perfect life to support my meditation.

Writing this book has given me so much clarity on my own spirituality and while there is so much to be figured out every day, I am wondering what in your life can benefit from some clarity. Perhaps you can write your own memoir on some aspect of your life.

My transformative journey  has taught me great lessons – lessons I hopes to share with others. What I have learnt most though is that while we all have our personal challenges, experiences and lessons, when we share it with the world, we learn and benefit most from it.

For many, mindfulness is something mysterious and unattainable, but if you follow the teachings, embrace what it has to teach you, and commit to making a conscious effort to try, you just might be pleasantly surprised. In Mindfulness Journey in Africa, I invite readers to explore the nuances, immerse themselves in a journey and lessons, and consider taking a spiritual adventure of your own.

With this book, you’ll be able to:

  • See the life-changing events as I experienced them.
  • Ponder meaningful questions about your life and the world around you.
  • Put together a plan to begin your own journey
  • And more!

Even if you’re never considered Vipassana meditation before or you’ve tried to embrace it and failed, I hope that my journey and the lessons I learned will inspire you to try again or to go on a spiritual adventure of your own.

Much love and blessings to you all.