5 Steps to Sensual Confidence

What are the benefits of being able to express your sensuality? 

Being able to free express your sensual nature can have real positive results in literally every aspect of your life; like having better communication skills, having more charisma, attractiveness and even an improved ability to manifest your intentions. 

Expressing your sensual nature, does not mean that you are changing your personality to be that of a promiscuous enchantress or a suave smooth-talker, flirtatiously sailing through everyday. It does however mean that you are comfortable in your own skin.  It means that you give and receive affection comfortably and you can fulfill your desires, free from guilt, shame and fear. 

Most of us are somewhat confused when it comes to our own sensuality, as just showing too much overt sexual interest, may have caused embarrassment in the past, perhaps even misunderstanding, or mistrust in a treasured relationship.

It is therefor quite understandable, how our subconscious mind would want to close ourselves off to free, unobstructed sensual expression and label it as something dangerous, unpredictable or unsafe. Yet there comes a time where every individual decides that enough is enough and their inner being urges them to test the water of their own ocean of expression.

Are you ready to express yourself in a way that is inviting to others, in a way that gives you confidence and magnetism?

Remember, sensual liberation has a very subjective meaning to every individual. To some it means being able to share their erotic fantasies or exploring intimacy with a greater range of people. To another it may mean holding hands in public or simply wearing a bathing suit out. 

So, your goals may differ from your friend’s and comparing yourself with them, may not be helpful. If you are unsure about exactly which goals to set for yourself, it is always helpful to work with a professional coach or therapist. 

So here are some suggested steps to follow:

  1. Identify your safe space. A really good place to start is a dance or yoga class, although many people choose to be safely at home. Every lesson life has taught you on where to close your authentic expression off, has also given you a parameter for exactly which circumstances you find safe, acceptable and agreeable to practice free unobstructed expression in, so that you can now become comfortable with the idea of being a sensual being. 
  1. Choose your method. Dance, Breathe or Shake!  How do you want to connect with your body in a way that feels good to you? Learn to SLOW DOWN your movements. This is the secret in creating confidence and charisma.
  1. Enjoy! Changing your beliefs about what sensuality feels like will come through enjoying the action that you choose. Own the enjoyment, make it yours. Releasing negative connotation to dancing sensually in front of the mirror, or to speak slow and sensually will take time. Don’t let the awkwardness at first put you off.
  1. Share your sensual expression with the world. This is the big step, which will differ for everyone. Wear your bikini at a hotel pool and reject each thought of judgment about it. Try a conversation while slowing your normal speaking pace down, dance at a party with your eyes closed, just for yourself.

I look forward to seeing your confidence radiating from afar. 

I trust myself

To trust oneself, is a difficult concept to grasp, which is most likely why the concept seldomly gets understood beyond embodiment-lacking, self-improvement affirmations. Since “myself” is made up of so many various parts, when we say that we trust ourselves, it is necessary that we go into the details of it in order to understand what it means.

To trust oneself, one has to get out of victimhood-mentality.

Victimhood – mentality can develop from racial differences, socio-economic differences, gender differences, sexual orientation differences; or as result of being bullied, abused, raped, imprisoned. It can develop through an unlucky event, an accident, an unexpected bankruptcy, a toxic relationship. It can be societal, generational, and can even be location-specific.  When we have been conditioned with victimhood-mentality, we see life as an unfair orchestration, where the bad guys win with their nonchalant power. 

With a victimhood-mindset, even when we choose to leave situations, we will look back and feel taken advantage of. We will look back at precious relationships, and see how we have been a doormat, a convenient use. We will look back at things we did and label it as a waste, since we didn’t get anything out of it. We will feel cheated with our time, our input and resources. We will refuse to admit that those who were with us, truly loved us, we will refuse to admit that we left situations out of free will, because we saw something better for ourselves, we will refuse to admit that where we are, is actually where we want to be. 

Because our sense of self-worth is not given any opportunity to exist, we will naturally find ways to dismiss even the slightest opportunity for recognition to ourselves and our decisions. This happens so deeply that we are completely unaware of it. 

Thus, when you say: “I trust myself,” you are actually saying that you are exactly where you want to be, you have chosen this project, or that situation, AND THUS it is good; then there is no more possibility to blame, to find excuses, or to diminish yourself in it. Then it is not by accident or coincidence that things are happening. Then you are no longer subject to some imaginary god or universe outside of you, be it a good one or a bad one, to govern your way. 

With this short line, and the embodiment of it, meaning the part where you recognize “and thus it is good,” you are at the beginning of creation. Although, if you are coming from a trauma body, one of victimhood, then that is a topic for another time, as the greatness of it can be overwhelming. 

Of course change is scary, and letting go of a feeling that has always been there, in this case the feeling of fear that masks true empowerment will probably not just disappear with one short realization. Yet, taking the courage to experience, just once, what it feels like to trust yourself, will surely plant more seeds and the process would have started.

May we all live embodied empowerment.